CRYSTAL WHITE BANANA: PART THREE
- mikeshiplack
- Feb 5, 2025
- 15 min read
CHAPTER 14
Sitting up slowly Juniper gave her head a shake as she rested against the trunk of the orange cream coloured tree. She wasn’t sure what hurt most, her aching head or her aching tail. Before she could remember what happened with the strange forest creature, she sat in awe of the spectacle before her. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her monkey paws, arms and legs were glowing like a rainbow. All around her were the brightest greens, deepest yellows, hottest reds, orangiest oranges, biggest blues and deepest purple she ever saw. The glow was from the mystical mushroom. Every single cap in the field beamed like a glowstick in the night.
Juniper was in awe. ‘They never looked like this back home’, she thought. She quickly realized why. The mystical mushrooms that were uprooted from the tuck and roll off of T-Bird’s back were now pure white, the colour she was used to seeing back in Grass Garden Grove.
“Hey monkey? Are you, like, okay?” Came a strange voice from her right shoulder.
Juniper leaped right into the orange cream coloured tree with purple leaves. Since she was an infant, the jungle animals heard cautionary tales about the creatures from The Old Forest. However, this forest creature seemed different, and very very odd.
“Ah! A forest creature!” cried Juniper.
“Ah! A forest creature! Run away!” The sound of clippity-clopping hooves echoed off the mountain valley wall as the creature leaped right off the side of the cliff.
For what seemed like the millionth time today, Juniper Monkey was in shock. That poor creature plummeted to its death! Ran right off the side of a mountain. Then she heard a distant CLIP. CLOP... ClipClipClipClipClipClipClip... CLOP. CLOP. CLOP.
The creature managed to quickly circle its way around the rim of the valley cliff in a matter of seconds. The clipping and clopped came to a stop just below her. Juniper looked down at a large boulder next to the tree. The boulder now had a set of hot pink horns.
“Hello?” Juniper asked the boulder. The old face of a billy goat that had seen some things peered out from behind the rock. A smile also appeared from under the twisted black spirals of the billy goat’s goatee.
“Me? A Forest Creature? Technically I’m a Cragsman — well I used to be. The name is Bill Goat Gruff, the Third. No relation to Billy Goat Gruff though,” he said with a chuckle. “Hey you mind passing me a branch from that...” he trailed off staring at something else in the tree.
“Please to meet you, Mr. Gruff. And sure, I can get you a branch...” Juniper was quickly cut-off.
“Hi there. The name is Bill Goat Gruff, the third. No relation to Billy Goat Gruff though,” he repeated with the exact same tone and chuckle.
“Please to...” but Juniper was quickly cut-off again.
“Any chance you can break me off a piece of that branch?”
Juniper wasn’t sure what scared her the most. The way he repeated himself or how the old goat looked right through her as he spoke. She threw down an orange branch flush with purple leaves.
ClipClipClipClipClipClip. CLOP! Bill Goat Gruff III wasted no time stripping the branch clean of every last purple leaf.
“Oh man! That’s better. Sorry, I don’t know if we’ve met. I’m Bill Goat Gruff the Third, No rel...”
“Relation to Billy Goat Gruff? Yes, we’ve met,” replied Juniper.
“Friends call my Triple Bill. At least that’s what those darn fairies keep calling me. You must of scared them good. They’re flying everywhere since you landed,” replied Triple Bill — now speaking with the lucidity of a normal jungle animal after eating some of the purple leaves.
Juniper didn’t notice any fairies anywhere since she landed.
CHAPTER 15
“It’s a good thing the fairies told me to hang out here today. I was hoping the wind would finally blow down more leaves. But I guess it blowed you down instead. Ha. Ha. Ha. How about that?” Laughed Triple Bill before staring off into space again. Juniper tossed down another branch. They seemed to help his train of thought.
Between being a mountain goat stuck on an isolated mountain peak, and a mountain goat stuck on a peak full of mind altering substances, Triple Bill was a real talker when he finally figured out where he was. Within the first five minutes of conversation, Juniper learned that he came from three generations of mountain goat. They were known throughout the Old Forest as the Cragsman Family. A tribe of goats that spent all day working hard climbing up and down mountains in search of iron, ore and mineral deposits that lined the windswept cliffs of the island. One day Triple Bill discovered this cliff with the mystical mushroom and orange cream coloured tree with purple leaves. He hasn’t left since. According to Triple Bill, he’s been here about two weeks now. It’s actually been 10 years.
“Wow! That is amazing!” Juniper quickly cut in. “But can you show me the fastest way down the...”
“You ever scarf on one of these purple leaves? They’re awesome. Sometimes I go days before one will fall down and I’m stuck hanging out with these damn fairies. They’re really amazing and majestic creatures, but they keep interrupting you. It’s so...”
“Annoying? Yeah, I get it,” quipped Juniper. The jungle kids of Grass Garden Grove have never tested her patiences as much as this old goat. “I am sorry to keep interrupting, but I am just here for the mushrooms. A friend of mine is sick and needs them before sunset, so I was hoping you could point out the quickest way down. Unless if you know that T-Bird will be back this way soon?” Asked Juniper with a sign as she watched the sun get closer to the horizon. She tossed down another branch of purple leaves as she settled into the orange cream coloured tree.
“Heavy,” said Triple Bill. “Old T-Bird has himself what they call a drift circuit. He rides the same pattern of winds day in and day out. You shouldn’t have jumped when you did. He’s going to be gone at least a day as he flies all the way to Grass Garden Grove and back,” said Triple Bill.
“Grass Garden Grove?! But that’s where I’m from. I have to get back before nightfall tonight. It’s life or death!” Juniper tried to hold back the tears.
“If you’re going to be here for a while do you mind passing me another one of those branches?” Triple Bill began to ramble on about the fairies again as Juniper continued to search the sky for signs of T-Bird. There was nothing but the quick clips and clops of the old goat’s hooves as it ran from branch to branch catching the purple leaves before they hit the ground.
Juniper looked at the sun as it began to edge closer to the horizon. How long was she out for? How much time does she have? It didn’t matter, she had to get back to Grass Garden Grove as soon as possible. She still had enough Green Banana Leaf to make it back, but she didn’t know if she had the energy to get down the mountain and then through The Old Forest.
Clip. Clop. A big banana shaped idea popped inside her head. Juniper grabbed a thin orange branch bursting with purple leaves at one end. It was the best and possibly worst idea ever.
“Umm... excuse me, Mr. Gruff?”
“Billy Goat Gruff the Third. No relation to...”
Let’s just stop right there for a moment, as you’re already familiar with how the rest of it goes. Our attention is required somewhere else, and it’s all the way down the mountain at the border between Grass Garden Grove and The Old Forest...
“All right you two, listen up,” commanded Ma Weasel. “This is a standard smash and grab job. This part of the jungle is the closest point to the mountains, so it’s the quickest exit for Juniper to make her way back to Klingery's lab. Now remember, Wilbur, we have to be very quiet and stay out of sight from the owls until that monkey shows up. Let’s keep it simple: You two lasso her with this vine and then toss me the mushrooms. Easy work. Now, don’t let me down, boys.”
“Scree, scree, scree, scree,” said Wilbur in a much quieter tone.
“Ah Ma, you know you can trust me. We won’t let you down, again,” said Willy.
“Oh, I am so proud of my boys,” said Ma. “And I will be even prouder when you don’t screw this up!”
Through the thicket of pine needles and prickly bushes Ma Weasel began to hear an odd combination of galloping hooves and someone shouting.
CHAPTER 16
“Watch out for that tree!” shouted Juniper.
After eating an entire branch of fresh purple leaves, Triple Billy was experiencing the trip of a lifetime. The fairies were out in force providing advice on everything from cliff jumping to existential debates about the value of reality versus purple leaves. The incoherent ramblings of Triple Billy were making Juniper more nervous than the T-Bird’s loop-de-loops, but at least they were on the ground-ish.
“Yeah, I see it! Good spot, little fairy,” said Triple Billy as he leapt aimlessly from one boulder to another. Juniper was beginning to lose track of the amount of times she had lost her grip on Triple Billy's mangy technicolour coat.
Hearing the screams and clicking of hooves on the rocky cliffs, Ma Weasel quickly figured this could be trickier than she originally thought.
“All right boys, remember just stick to the plan. Grab Juniper, steal the mushroom, throw them to me and I'll meet you back at the house,” ordered Ma.
“But what about that weird multi-coloured thing she’s riding?” asked Willy.
“That’s just a harmless mountain goat,” said Ma. “He can’t see you if you sneak up behind him.”
“Scree, Scree, Scree, Scree,” replied Wilbur. The weasel boys got into position behind a large boulder. Triple Billy came to a sliding stop at the boundary line between The Old Forest and Grass Garden Grove.
“Alright monkey lady, the fairies tell me this is as far as you go,” said Triple Billy.
“Thank you so much for the ride,” said Juniper, who was surprised with how quickly Triple Billy made it down the Mountain. Looking at the sun she knew it would be close, but with the aid of the Green Banana Leaf she would make it back to Professor Klingery’s laboratory in time. “You have no idea what this means to me. You saved lives today, Triple Billy,” said Juniper kissing him between his wildly twisted horns.
“Screeeeee!” shouted Wilbur as the weasel brothers jumped from high above their hiding place tackling Juniper and Triple Billy in the process.
“An attack from behind?! I did not see that coming,” said Triple Billy lying helplessly on his side.
Wilbur was holding down Juniper, while Willy held his hands over Triple Billy’s eyes.
“Ah, I am blind!” shouted Triple Billy.
“You two! Hasn’t Ma Weasel done enough damage for one day?” said Juniper.
“If you only knew, Juniper,” said Willy. “Besides you will be thanking us soon enough with all the work you’ll be doing for us -- forever! This is the last day where Grass Garden Grove gets to play.”
“Not if I have anything to do with it, you... you... filthy little weasels,” said Juniper.
“Never thought I’d see the day where Juniper Monkee would be mean enough to call anyone a bad name,” said Ma Weasel as she walked out from behind the thick jungle brush. “Quickly boys, tie up these two trouble makers and haul them further into the jungle before we’re spotted by an owl.”
With Juniper and Triple Billy tied around a palm tree and safely away from the watchful eyes of the owls, Ma shook out everything in Juniper’s satchel on the jungle floor -- including the Green Banana Leaves.
“See these, Juniper?” said Ma Weasel dangling the mushrooms in-front of the bound-up monkey. “This is the only thing on the entire island that would have saved your poor Monreau and those lazy jungle children. Never forget that it was you who let them down, although I did help a little bit. It was a real... hoot! Or how about a laugh? Now you boys: keep them quiet and watch they don’t escape. I need them both to test my new chili recipe.”
With mushrooms in hand and a smile on her face, Ma Weasel scampered towards her cottage filled with all of the vile veggies that will soon cause all of the jungle animals to work all day and never play.
CHAPTER 17
Juniper was not going to let the weasels win, especially after everything she went through to get those mushrooms. But more importantly, she couldn’t let Monreau down. She cared too much for him. Being a clever monkey, Juniper quickly thought of a plan. It didn’t take much thinking, she just had to outsmart two weasels.
The tree the weasels bound Juniper and Triple Billy to was right next to the spilled contents of her satchel. If she could only get to those Green Banana Leaves there might be enough time to swing over to Ma Weasel’s and back to Professor Klingery’s lab. But the sun was inching closer and closer to Monreau’s last horizon.
“Hey Willy, did Ma leave us any food?” asked Wilbur, rubbing his empty stomach. He just remembered they had only managed to visit a few food vendors from the Fall festival early that morning -- certainly not enough for a full meal.
“Scree, scree, scree,” agreed Willy happily, and pulled out a cold pot of Tom Rabbit’s 24-Carrot Soup.
“Good work, Wilbur. I always knew you weren’t as dumb as you let on.”
“Scree?”
“Oh no, it’s cold. And I didn’t bring any matches,” Wilbur complained.
“Scree, scree, scree!” said Willy holding up a single match.
“You thought of everything!”
“Mmm...mffflle...mmm,” came Juniper’s muffled voice behind a gag.
“Yo, weasel dudes, the monkey is trying to say something important,” said Triple Billy trying to keep it together. The weasels gave up trying to gag him after he ate everything they put near his mouth.
“Who cares,” replied Wilbur. But Juniper already managed to shake the gag loose.
“You know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but for a bit of that soup I’ll let you in on a quick way to start that fire,” said Juniper.
“Oh yeah, and what does a stupid monkey know about lighting fires that we don’t?”
“Well, you see those green banana leaves? They’re a special kind of leaf that not only burns super hot, but they’re easy to light with just one match.”
“Is that right?” said Wilbur. “Thanks for the tip. So Willy, what do you think about sharing our soup with that monkey?” Willy shook his head from side-to-side. “What about we cook up this soup right under her nose and then not give him any?”
“Scree, scree, scree, scree,” laughed Wilbur.
Juniper was worried. She didn’t know if she could hold her breath for that long. But the Weasels were already fast at work. They set the leaves for kindling and a single match was all it took. WHOOSH. The brothers just sat around the fire laughing. Juniper took a deep breath of smoke and waited. It didn’t take long for the weasel brothers to figure something was not quite right. The jungle became deathly silent and the bubbles from the boiling pot of 24-Carrot Soup began to hypnotically grow and pop and grow and pop. The weasels leaned in for a closer look and suddenly became transfixed by the bubbles.
Juniper saw her chance. She exhaled quickly and tried to inhale as little smoke as possible. She then pulled at the ropes and they slowly fell to the ground around her. Apparently Triple Billy saw his chance too. The last of the rope slurped up into his mouth like a wet noodle.
“All right, monkey, I am outta here,” said Triple Billy, a little confused by the effects of the Green Banana Leaf. “This has been enough of a trip for one day. Best of luck monkey lady.”
“Thanks again for all of your help, Triple Billy,” called Juniper as the goat zig zagged his way back through The Old Forest.
Looking over at the weasel brothers staring helplessly into the pot of 24-Carrot Soup, Juniper was glad that the professor warned her about the side effects of the Green Banana Leaf. Luckily she had inhaled just enough. Grabbing for a thick jungle vine, Juniper quickly swung towards Ma Weasel’s cottage.
CHAPTER 18
It didn’t take long for Juniper to reach the Weasel’s cottage, and she didn’t waste any time with pleasantries. Not any more. Busting through the front door she was met with a bit of a surprise, though. Ma wasn’t taking any chances either. The 12-Egg Shotgun was rigged to the front door. KA-BOWK. KA-BOWK. With the effects of the Green Banana Leaf going strong, Juniper easily ducked and weaved the shell shots.
Although Juniper didn’t get any egg on her face, the noise from the blast warned Ma that she had an uninvited guest. Being only a few feet away from her steaming vat of vile chili, she quickly threw all of the mushrooms into the pot.
Juniper rushed towards the kitchen and saw the first of the few mushrooms go into the chili pot. She was only inches away from the last one before it fell into the miserable concoction of chili. Right beside the stove was the recipe card describing the mix. After working several summers with Professor Klingery, perfecting his Banana Spice, Juniper knew exactly what Ma was up to. She knew the mushrooms were now useless. Everything she went through was for nothing.
Even though Juniper was too fast for Ma Weasel to see, Juniper could clearly see that trademark smirk slowly spread across Ma’s face. Juniper looked desperately around the kitchen for maybe one mushroom that might have fallen out of the pot. Then on the kitchen table she saw another Crystal White Banana, just like the one that had poisoned all of the jungle children that she held so dear to her heart.
Ma Weasel will share their fate. Quickly peeling the ivory skin, Juniper shoved the shimmering fruit that caused so much pain for so many people inside Ma’s evil smirking mouth.
“No more second chances!” shouted Monreau.
Seeing Ma’s look of victory turn into fear in the blink of an eye provided little closure for what was going to happen to those poor children.
Leaving as quickly as she came, Juniper began to swing towards the professor’s lab as the sun began to touch down on the tips of the green jungle canopy. There was still time, but no cure for the Crystal White Banana.
CHAPTER 19
As soon as Professor Klingery’s lab came into view, Juniper could feel the effects of the Green Banana Leaf begin to fade. Her arms became heavy and she was so tired she could barely concentrate on the next vine. With one final swing Juniper used the last of her energy to swing right through the broken window.
“Juniper! Great monkey’s ghost, you’re cutting it close. Quick with the mushroom, there is no time to spare,” said the Professor. Juniper held the satchel upside down and watched only a few flakes from the Green Banana Leaf fall to the floor.
“I am sorry my dear girl, but there is nothing more we can do here. You might as well say good-bye, the sun has almost set.”
Juniper collapsed on Monreau’s bedside. “I am so sorry. I tried, but I just wasn’t fast enough. I was so close to saving you. There were so many things you and I have left to do. Please, please don’t give in, don’t let Ma Weasel win,” said Juniper as tears ran down her cheeks.
Monreau tried hard to speak to Juniper between his final round of laughing fits. His eyes were rife with pain as his stomach was aching due to laughing so much. “I …. I know you did your best,” said Monreau as he closed his eyes and let out a final aching laugh. Juniper held him tightly in hopes that a miracle would happen.
“Just one more loop de loop!” came a familiar shout outside Professor Klingery’s window. Just then an enormous white streak flew in through the window already broken by Juniper. However, the white streak continued through to break the other window right across from it. It was on large loop de loop.
Juniper couldn’t believe her eyes, was it true? Looking frantically out the broken window she couldn’t help but smile.
“T-Bird! It is you,” cried Juniper.
“Oh yeah old T-Bird’s back in the jungle to drop off a little friend and a present for you,” said T-Bird, an enormous mushroom was clutched.
“Thank you for coming a day early. I understand how hard it must be to break with tradition,” said Professor Klingery grabbing the mushroom and slowly feeding a tiny piece to Monreau.
"Don't worry about it, old friend. Traditions mean nothing without a future generation to share it with," replied Boris.
It didn’t take long for the mushrooms to take effect. Monreau fell out of his bunk in a burst of laughter, but this one sounded different from the others. It was the sound of pure joy.
“Juniper! Is everything alright? Why are you crying?” asked Monreau.
“Because, silly monkey, you’re alive,” replied Juniper.
What happened next was a bit gross, and even more strange. Leaning over the glass cage that once held Snowball, T-Bird began to cough and cough and cough until finally poor little Snowball appeared in the bottom of the cage, covered in a slimy goo. T-Bird’s feathers began to slowly change to a dark brown colour and Juniper could recognize the creature almost immediately.
“Boris!” shouted Juniper.
“I’m going to smell like Owl barf for days,” muttered Snowball.
“Oh stop complaining my little friend. We had a great adventure. Besides, what’s a little regurgitation between friends?” said Boris.
“An adventure! I want to hear all about it,” said Monreau.
And so ends the epic tale of the Crystal White Banana. With one last act of kindness and breaking with tradition, Boris flew the Professor at top speed with the mushroom to save the rest of the jungle children. The sun had finally set on Grass Garden Grove, and everyone was resting up for another day full of play.
